This week we are to pray for North Korea. If we really have a heart for the country, we have to know what the condition is there, and the more we know, the broader our prayer base is likely to be. I am struck weekly by how selfish my prayer life has been until now. What I thought was humility and surrender before God as I brought Him the concerns of my life, my family, my friends, those I know-- the common demoninator is that I sought what was good for me, what would lessen my sorrow.

"If you love those who love you, what reward do you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" Matthew 7:46-47.

The first revival in Korea occurred in Pyongyang. However, in the midst of it, there was a decree that the people must bow down (신사참배) and many people were martyred. In the aftermath, it was publicly announced by Christian leaders that it was permissible to bow according to the decree. The 70 year anniversary of that revival, announcement, and subsequent sin before God was several years ago, and leaders from many Christian denominations gathered together to repent of the sin of their ancestors as though it was their own sin.

The division of North and South Korea should not be seen as a political or military matter. God is sovereign over history, political leaders, timing, and the intricate coordination of all world wide events. There are prophecies that proclaim that God is waiting for the churches in South Korea to unite and then be reunited with North Korea, but currently, the number of denominations increases and churches divide between pastors and associate pastors. And all the while, I am busy praying for my own future, my own 부란함s. Oh God, have mercy. Wake me up, open my eyes to reality, which is always a spiritual matter. Help me to pray, to no longer make you wait for me to realize my selfishness, and to instead pray about the urgent matters with which You concern Yourself. I'm ready to give up my lemonade stand to join the family business.......

Training

My selfishness is disturbingly clear when I kneel down to pray. I can pray for myself, my problems, my dreams, my requests, and I thought that was indicative of a certain level of spiritual maturity. But when I am called to pray for others, the prayers are short and the effort to make them heartfelt requires intense straining, like a muscle I'm not used to flexing. Because I'm not.

But I try. And when students show up at school with a marijuana leaf, or their neighborhood and zip code, or FTW (F the world) tattooed to their arm; or when they say they'll NEVER have children because they have too many problems of their own (but are already sexually active); or their dad is in jail for murder and their mom is on crack; or they say, "Only God can judge me" (Hebrews 10:31-- they have no idea what they're asking for......)-- I pray. But there is no change, in fact, things get worse. They're expelled. My lack of faith is disturbingly clear when I kneel down to pray. Because I don't see change. Because I don't understand how being sent away can be better for them. And only in retrospect will I see how. Or I can choose to see now by faith.

Ezekiel 22:30

I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.

Fall 2008

People change. Therefore, relationships change. People grow, and sometimes they grow apart. I used to feel sad, regret that I hadn't kept in touch or held on, but I don't think it's a mistake; it's just life. Nothing about humanity is meant to last forever. Even love, as long as it is human love, will end.

나는 인제불어 영원한것들을 향하려고. 변함이 없는 분, 항상 신실한 분 우리 주 예수 그리스도.